After expanding our first draft script and making the changes mentioned yesterday, the purpose of this session was as a group, to have another read through of the new draft to Erica. The aim for this would be to be able to get through the script and then receive feedback on how to improve afterwards.
Going scene by scene, the scenes just between Olivia and her mother are still too short and there is no explanation as to why Olivia doesn’t like reading. Therefore, there is no motive to why she is getting these dreams of fairy tale characters. This will then give us the perfect opportunity to expand these scenes by Olivia explaining why she doesn’t enjoy reading. This could be a simple thing as to her preferring to go on electronics, which is becoming more of a common thing in children.
In the second scene where Olivia is in the forest with Tinkerbell, we have written it as though Olivia/Little Red Riding Hood already knows who Tinkerbell is, even though she doesn’t know the story. When creating another draft, we will add that little bit more interaction between the two and have them introduce each other. Another issue which is also raised in the scene with Goldilocks and the Three Bears is that Olivia already knows what to do when she sees the book. If she is not familiar with reading and is in a dream world with a new situation and characters she hasn’t heard of, she wouldn’t know to pick the book up. In order to solve this problem, Tinkerbell can tell Olivia what to do with the book, then she will know what to do when the two bears are looking for their mother in scene 4.
For Olivia, there is no build in her decision to start reading, she keeps telling her mum that she doesn’t want to read but at the end, Olivia suddenly doesn’t argue when she gets told she will have a story read to her. This needs to build so through each scene between the two characters, we should see Olivia not want a story, then debating about it before finally agreeing. This can then help get our objective across better as our piece is about encouraging more children to read.
Another main thing concerns the wolf, he is the only enemy in the piece but he just appears at the end. Therefore, I thought of the idea that we can have the wolf mentioned by each fairy tale character in each scene, this would mean this character has a link and can be an important part of the story. We then had the idea that because children are not reading and the stories are getting messed up, the wolf is taking advantage of that and luring them into his forest to get more power, making him the villain throughout.
In terms of the forest, we need to think about how we can be more creative with the set of the forest as it is in Olivia’s dream. We need to establish to the audience that the forest is in a dream world and not a real one so questions we need to think about with the forest are:
- What is the temperature like in the forest?
- Is the forest light or dark?
- Is there a particular smell?
Because the scenes between my character, the mother and her daughter Olivia are so short, there are very little chances for me to develop my character. I want to have my character to be very passionate about reading and she wants Olivia to be just as passionate. At the moment, when Olivia states quite quickly that she doesn’t want a story, my character gives up quickly. This shouldn’t be the case, I want to develop her character more by not giving up and trying to persuade Olivia each time to get her to read, to do this, I need to explain in the piece why reading is so important. As the overall objective is to encourage children to read, a challenge for me and my character is to not only get Olivia to read more, but the audience as well.